Navigating Boundaries: Creating Healthy Relationships

By: Carisa Peters

Hey everyone, it’s Life Coach Carisa! Today, let’s dive into the powerful concept of boundaries.

What comes to mind when you think of boundaries? Does it tend to feel controlling and negative? I know it used to be that way for me. Like I have to protect myself from others.

Boundaries really should be looked at much more deeply than this. They are more than mere lines on a map; they’re essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect. From personal space to emotional well-being, boundaries play a crucial role in our lives.

Picture boundaries as invisible lines we draw around ourselves, defining our space just like property boundaries. They’re not about controlling others but about taking responsibility for ourselves and building stronger connections.

Setting boundaries is crucial for emotional and mental well-being. Just as you have clear boundaries around your physical home, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries around your emotions and relationships.

Imagine your emotional space as your backyard. When someone crosses a boundary, it’s like they’ve stepped into your yard without permission.

But here’s the key: you only need to communicate your boundaries when they’re crossed. It’s about responding calmly and clearly, emphasizing self-care and respect for the relationship. Enforcing boundaries isn’t about control; it’s about protecting yourself and your needs. By upholding your boundaries, you create healthier dynamics in relationships.

To create boundaries in a healthy manner, each of us must take the responsibility to get clear on what it is we want and why? Not just I don’t want you to do this to me. It is much deeper. It is knowing yourself so well that you can come from a loving, emotionally secure place and communicate that in a healthy way.

A personal story I will share to illustrate this is close to my heart. During the last six years of my father’s life, our relationship had deteriorated from the less than ideal place it was and now had become virtually nonexistent. He would send me birthday texts, which left me feeling a mix of emotions—anger, sadness, and a sense of obligation to respond. I found myself overthinking these messages for days, grappling with their impact on me. Through introspection and self-love, I realized that I had the power to control my own feelings and reactions, regardless of my father’s actions. Taking ownership of my emotions, I responded to his messages with honesty and resilience, staying true to my authentic self.

It is a loving…’if you do this….I will do this’. It really felt good.

Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s an act of love, both for yourself and others. Start today and watch your relationships grow!

If you found this blog helpful, consider sharing it with other moms who might need to hear this message. And if you’d like to watch my video to go deeper on this topic you can find it here.

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” – Tony Gaskins

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