resilience

When you Can’t fill your Own Bucket

By: Petra Williams, Be You Coaching Services

I’m currently in recovery from a difficult surgery. I had my tired-ole ankle, filled with arthritis, damaged from injury, and riddled with scars finally fixed. After a significant high school injury from a 100-meter hurdle race, a 14- year stint as a gymnast, a softball player, always being active, and 2 previous surgeries, my right ankle said out loud to me — Enough! I actually heard it! Please do something about my constant pain! So I did. I contacted the same doctor who fixed my left ankle 9 years earlier (I know, my ankles are awful) and we came up with a plan.

On December 1, 2023, my right ankle went through a 2-hour surgery that cleaned out all of the arthritis, fixed my joints with two plates placed in different spots, and a 3-inch screw through my heel to hold it all together. I have to say it creeps me out a little bit to think about it, especially the screw. I’ve had a few nightmares about that screw working its way out, but have been assured it’s very unlikely to happen, so I am going with that. Anyway, I had the surgery, and then spent the next 7 1/2 weeks in a splint, a cast to my knee, and then another cast a little shorter. All non-weight bearing and requiring crutches.

I am very comfortable being by myself and have no problem finding something to do, and can admit to watching a lot of television during my time on the couch — getting great joy from watching all 7 seasons of Jane the Virgin (highly recommended if you haven’t watched). Having taken on a lot of challenges in my life, I knew this process would be difficult, but can admit to not really anticipating the number of rough days that I would have. When you have so much uninterrupted time to think, your brain can have a heyday. I am pretty good at managing my thinking, but realized pretty quickly that the reason why I am good at it, is I do a lot to fill my bucket to manage day to day stress.

How do I typically fill my bucket? Well, with exercise. I do pilates, I walk, I go to the gym, lift weights, and I couldn’t do any of that when I was immobile and I struggled. I think it’s a testament, first to why doing things like exercise are important in having a well-rounded and productive life and second without them, my toolbox for stress and uncertainty was very low. Because of that, the “stuff” I relied on for getting me through difficulties was unavailable and I knew it. When my mind began to spiral with my inability to move, do anything for myself, and realizing my vulnerability was at an all time high, there were a few times I couldn’t catch up to it — I could actually see it coming. High stress, uneasy, uncertainty came on like a freight train.

It’s hard to predict how we will manage tough times in our life. Sometimes we can plan for them, like I knew about my surgery date for a couple of months, other times things happen to us in real time. The thing you really need to think about is are you ready for them? Do you have bucket fillers like exercise, good diet, meditation, quiet time, journaling, good friendships, a pet, do you read, or maybe you need a life coach? When you are complaining about being stressed or over emotional, do you ever ask yourself why? Things happen, life happens, good and bad things happen — these are all about your own life journey. It’s up to you to equip yourself with the bucket fillers that you need to weather every sunshiny day and storm that comes your way. Stop believing that being stressed out every day is the way you should live your life and start embracing everything that comes your way. Enjoy the process, it’s through all of your experiences that you can start to really be the person you are meant to be.

I just went to see my doctor for my 3-month checkup and am firmly on the path to a strong recovery. Since I followed the protocols for my surgery, he informed me that my ankle after 3 months, is what most of his patient’s ankles look like after 5 months. That was really encouraging. I am walking without a boot, but very slowly, trying to do a little more every day. I’ve started physical therapy and look forward to the annual bike trip I take with my good friends — Amy, Lori, Kathy, and Jen — in July. My foot is quite stiff, but much sturdier than I can even remember. It’s been a strange thing to adapt to an ankle that I can count on. Fixing things in your life takes a consistent daily commitment. Making sure you are doing it right takes incredible patience. Fill your bucket, fix or change what’s holding you back, you can do it! Stop being afraid of the process and make the decision you know you need to make to remove what might be limiting your own happiness.

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Unlocking Teen Potential

By: Joey Mascio

Hey amazing teens! Ever find yourself yearning for a bit more excitement in your social life, struggling with confidence, or feeling a bit out of place? You’re not alone. These are challenges all teenagers face today. Let’s explore a solution that’s both fun and impactful. 

Navigating the middle school or high school social scene can be tricky. Sure, you’ve got some friends, but forging connections beyond that circle is challenging. Confidence? It’s there, but maybe not as robust as you’d like. Ever felt like you just don’t quite fit in? Yeah, we’ve all been there. 

Then there are those days that feel like a bit of a slog. It’s not a full-blown battle with depression, but motivation seems to be on vacation. Stress and anxiety throw their hats into the ring, making life feel like a bit too much. The struggle is real. 

What about personal goals? You’ve got them, but distractions seem to be ever-present. Video games, YouTube, Netflix – they’re all beckoning for your attention. It’s the classic tug-of-war between what you want to achieve and what ends up grabbing your focus. 

Does it feel like I’m reading your mind? That’s because adolescents everywhere are experiencing what psychologist Viktor Frankl calls the Mass Neurotic Triad, which is depression, addiction, and aggression. That may sound a bit much for what you’re experiencing, but it’s translated for teens as “I don’t feel like it, I don’t have enough time, people are stupid.” Familiar, right? 

This general feeling of being down, distracted, disconnected may come from teens spending a lot of time with “imaginary friends.” No, not the imaginary friends from childhood. These imaginary friends are the influencers, video game characters, and binge-worthy show protagonists. Spending too much time with them may be entertaining, but it won’t help you grow into the incredible person you aspire to become. 

Now, I’m not suggesting a complete digital detox. But what if those moments of feeling down, disconnected, and distracted are a result of spending more time in someone else’s world than your own? 

Introducing the Live Your Own Life Challenge. Here’s the gist: prioritize spending more time living your life before delving into the virtual worlds of influencers, video games, or shows. Everyday, take concrete actions towards your goals – whether it’s working out, pursuing a hobby, or taking steps to become the person you envision. 

Balance is the key. For every two hours invested in creating something amazing in your real life, allocate just one hour to your virtual escapes. Do this consistently, and you’ll witness a positive shift. 

The promise of this challenge? Less of those down days, reduced feelings of being distracted and disconnected, and a surge in feelings of accomplishment, motivation, and personal value. 

So, incredible tweens and teens, are you up for the challenge? It’s time to unlock your awesomeness and fully embrace living your own life! 

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Embracing Change with Life Coaching

By: Tami Schwendiman

As the leaves turn  shades of red, orange, and gold, and a cool breeze fills the air, fall arrives as a metaphor for change and transition. In the same way, life often presents us with seasons of transitions, both expected and unexpected. This is where the power of life coaching can make a big impact.

Life coaching provides guidance and support during these transitions, helping individuals embrace and navigate change. Just as fall teaches us to let go of the old, life coaching empowers us to release attachments to outdated beliefs, behaviors, and circumstances that no longer serve us. By doing so, we can create space for personal growth and transformation.

Fall offers a perfect backdrop for setting intentions and envisioning the future. The changing colors and falling leaves remind us that just as nature evolves, so should we. 

 As the days grow shorter and the nights longer, we are reminded to find harmony between our personal and professional lives. Coaching provides tools and techniques to strengthen healthy boundaries, prioritize self-care, and maintain balance in all areas of life.

Fall is a time of harvest and abundance. As coaching clients explore possibilities and tap into their inner resources, they can create a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

Embracing life transitions, like the changing seasons, can be daunting. However, with  support, you can navigate transitions with confidence, self compassion and resilience. Like the colors of fall, a skilled coach helps illuminate your path, allowing individuals to embrace change and flourish.

To connect with Tami, please visit her profile HERE

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