Heather Rackham, Author at The Life Coach Directory

When You Trust Yourself

There are different ways we learn how to trust (or not trust) ourselves. One of these ways is by doing (or not doing) what we say we’ll do–especially when it comes to ourselves.

Most of the time, we do what we say we’ll do for other people. This is because we know the consequences of not following through: the other person will feel let down and disappointed and possibly change how they think about us, and then we’ll feel guilty for having disappointed them and think we need to make up for it somehow.

But what happens when we say we’ll do something for ourselves and then we don’t do it? Let’s say we put an hour on our calendar to do one of the following things: go to the gym, do a yoga class, take a walk, read for leisure, or cook a healthy meal.

But we end up blowing ourselves off during that hour by using that time to keep working, scroll on social media, go out for drinks instead, or do something else besides what we had planned for ourselves.

When we’re the ones not keeping our commitment to ourselves, we feel a double whammy–we’re the ones who are let down and disappointed AND we’re the ones feeling guilty about letting ourselves down. That feels doubly bad. And yet we might not even feel the need to make up for it.

Knowing this feeling, the next time we go to make a commitment to ourselves, we might avoid disappointing ourselves and feeling guilty about it ahead of time, so we might think, “Why bother? I’m not gonna do it anyway.”

Then nothing moves forward with keeping commitments and building trust with ourselves.

Thus, a defeating mindset begins when we think about making commitments to ourselves. We diminish our trust with ourselves when we don’t follow through on what we say we’re going to do for ourselves.

To build trust with ourselves, we can take small steps. “Today I’m going to get up from my desk at 2pm and drink a glass of water and walk around the office/house for five minutes.”

Then at 2pm, we do what we say. We get up, drink a glass of water, and walk around for five minutes.

When we do this, there’s a sense of empowerment, a sense of accomplishing something and fulfilling a promise to ourselves–no matter how small. “It feels good to do what I said I would!” Celebrate that and remember the feeling.

This is how we start to strengthen the muscle of trusting ourselves more, knowing that we can have our own back. We can continue to make another small commitment to keep each day–it could be the same one!–until it’s just automatic for us to keep our word to ourselves. Until it feels uncomfortable when we don’t keep our word to ourselves.

When we get even better at keeping commitments to ourselves, we build even more trust with ourselves. We start to know what it truly feels like to have our own back–no matter what.

Your turn: You make decisions based on you and what you want for yourself; no one else can make these decisions for you. When you trust yourself to have your back no matter what the outcome is, there is no “wrong” decision. Just an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you want or don’t want. What are you willing to do today to build even more trust with yourself?

The ONE best thing you can do for your dating life!

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Laerke Nielsen

If you are single, there are a million different things you can work on to pave the ways to attract the loving and committed relationship you dream of. Just take a look at all the things you see on Instagram…

Some of this is indeed very good to focus on; letting go of the past, healing your relationship with yourself, getting clear on what kind of partner you are looking for, and stepping into the version of you who truly feels like the amazing catch you are and who knows that there are plenty of men who would love to go on a date with her!

All this is important – it’s the inner work that you want to focus on mainly before dating.

But when you get yourself out there – in the dating world – what really makes the difference between whether you continue to date until you meet the right match, or you quit the journey or decide to settle with someone you are not that excited about, is this one thing:

It’s if you know how to ENJOY dating!

Because the reality is that most women actually don’t enjoy dating. They’d rather skip the dating and go straight to the relationship!

They dread going into the dating apps and setting up a profile, chatting with the men in there, going on yet another date with “a stranger” that they don’t even believe will be interesting. And I get that, that’s how I felt for a long time. I almost expected it to be a waste of time.

The downsides of not enjoying dating is that you not only go on less dates, you go on them with a different energy, and you are not having a good experience. Going on less dates that are less fun, makes you withdraw even more from dating, most likely not meet the man of your dreams, and in the end you either quit, reminding yourself that you do already have a good life as a single woman, or you take a long break. You might even feel tempted to compromise your dreams and desires and settle with a situationship with a man you aren’t really that crazy about.

What if you enjoyed dating?

On the other hand – if dating was something you really loved – the process itself; connecting with new people in the apps, meeting them on a date, discovering this other person in front of you – while discovering new sides of yourself and how you can connect with a man – if this was fun for you – you wouldn’t mind dating until the day you met your Mr. Right.

When its all of a sudden a fun and exciting journey, you show up on dates in the energy of a woman who enjoys life and is less attached to the outcome of each date. This makes you come across as much more confident and attractive to a man, than when you dread it.

But what if I really don’t like it?

Enjoying dating is a skill that you can practise. It’s not about gaslighting yourself or using toxic positivity on yourself. It’s about seeing the potential to learn, grow and have fun on each date. To commit to yourself that regardless of the man – YOU are going to have a good experience. It might not be a great experience, but it will be good in the sense that you decide to set an intention and to learn something new every time.

Imagine I could tell you with 100% certainty that you will meet the man of your dreams on date nr 35. It’s going to be amazing, you will both fall in love and live happily ever after. But you can’t skip the line. You have to go through the first 34.

Now how will you make those 34 dates enjoyable?

Use a Discovery approach and see dating as self-development journey

First you have to step into owning that you can influence your experience a lot on a date. You want to keep your mind open to possibility – anything can happen in this new connection – you could be positively surprised and you want to practise curiosity.

So ask yourself what you need to think in order to feel open to possibility and curious to get to know the man?

And then you can decide on some fun questions to ask, or things to share about yourself and your life, that will live up the conversation.

Think of dating as a discovery process – you are getting to know a new person and you also discover new sides of yourself. You can learn a lot about yourself in dating, it’s actually a great possibility for self development.

I give my clients dating challenges; I give them something to focus on, or a skill to practise on their dates. You can do that yourself by setting an intention for the date.

For instance you could decide to observe your inner critic – pay attention to what self-critical thoughts run through your brain and prevent you from being authentic on the date. This can help you identify triggers that activate your negative self-talk.

Or you can also get curious about how fast your brain is trying to make a judgement about the other person – especially on a date, we are wired to assess and judge instantly, and it’s a fun challenge to try to keep the door open and not make a decision about the other person that fast.

Observe your mind as a scientist and notice the thoughts that make you want to either hide your true self or make a quick decision about the man in front of you. This can bring you a lot of insight and self awareness.

Practise being present and listening

Another intention could be to practise deep listening; listen to understand, not to respond. Get really curious about what is behind the surface, what is driving this man, what are his dreams and fears etc. Ask questions and set aside your own desire to talk for a moment.

This can have the bonus effect that he feels inspired to open up even more – and you might experience a side of him that you wouldn’t if you had both been busy talking and trying to impress each other (as we normally are on dates).

Being able to be present and listen to understand is such a rare skill – we live in a time of constant notifications and distractions. If you can become really good at being present and just listen, you give one of the greatest gifts that you can possibly give to another human being.

But the real reason you want to do this is for yourself. You want to give yourself a chance to see that side of him, because otherwise you could be missing out on a really interesting man, without knowing it.

And then after each of your dates, you can evaluate by asking yourself:

How was this date an important step in my journey – even if he wasn’t someone interesting for me – what did I learn?

I call this approach a discovery mindset. This will allow you to enjoy dating – so you can stay in the “game” until you meet your ideal partner, and avoid feeling drained or bored!

It’s a skill I highly recommend you to develop, and if you want my support on how to actually do this, I invite you to book a free consultation call with me on https://www.laerkenielsencoaching.com/

You can also listen to my Podcast; Smart Women’s Dating Podcast: https://smartwomensdatingpodcast.buzzsprout.com/share

or follow me on Instagram @laerkethelovecoach.com

3 Words That Will Transform Your Relationship

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Andelin Price

The words we say MATTER! Every word we use carries with it a vibrational frequency. If you want to get into the science of this idea, you can look it up. But the fact is, words carry emotion.

Here’s an example. When you think of the word darkness, what do you feel? I immediately feel a little bit lower, heavier, closed off. When I hear the word light, I feel lifted. My heart opens up a little bit. Go ahead; try it. Choose a few words and check in with your body, to see what kind of vibration they carry for you. A word can be connected to different emotions for different people, depending on their life experience.

It’s ok if you don’t know the specific emotion attached to every word (that would take a long time!). It’s enough to know if the word feels more closed or open; more constricting or more expansive.

How does this apply to Marriage?

When you were about to be married, what was the advice you received? Most of us are told things like, “Marriage is hard. You have to learn to compromise,” or “marriage requires a lot of sacrifice.” (It’s a wonder any of us got married at all, with this kind of advice! But I digress.)

I am on a mission to change the language we use to describe our relationships, particularly in our long term intimate relationships. Here are 3 common offenders:

Compromise

Compromise sounds good, at first. It’s like, yeah, I want to be flexible, easy to work with, or accommodating. But it actually means that everyone has to give up something they want. So basically, in a compromise, everyone gets a “sorta crappy” deal. “Compromised” can mean being exposed to an enemy, or jeopardized. Not my favorite way to think about the workings of a marriage partnership.

Collaboration, on the other hand, feels so much more open. It suggests that we put our heads together and create a way for everyone to have what they want. We find a way to create here there is enough room for everyone’s needs to be met. Where everyone gets equal say. And when everyone has what they need, we empower each other and our relationship benefits.

Sacrifice

I’m sure we’ve all been told the importance of sacrifice in a marriage. The message is something like this: marriage requires sacrifice. You should sacrifice what you want for the good of the family. Merriam-Webster defines sacrifice this way: “destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else.” And I’ll tell you that when I thought I needed to sacrifice what I needed for the sake of others, it certainly felt destructive to me.

Sacrifice is a scarcity word. It says that there’s not enough to go around, so someone has to go without. Because there really is enough to go around, for everyone’s needs to be met (and then some).

Rather than sacrificing, I now choose to give. When a child needs my attention in the middle of the night, I don’t “sacrifice” my sleep. I am choosing to give up a little sleep so that my child will feel cared for. It’s a worthwhile exchange, in my opinion. And, when I am in need of some self care, I give myself that, even if it requires someone else to wait until I’m ready to give them my attention.

I know that when I give myself the care I need, I am so much better able to be there for others. As the saying goes, you can’t give from an empty cup. Thing is, I fill my own cup; nobody else can really do that for me.

Where and how to give of myself isn’t always an easy balance point to find, but sacrificing too much is ALWAYS going to feel out of balance. And when giving, there is no resentment, only Love.

Selfishness

I see a lot of people, women especially, misunderstanding what selfishness is. She might want to take some time to connect with friends, get a haircut, or take a nap, but she won’t do it because she’s telling herself it would be selfish. Sometimes she won’t allow others to serve her because she’s worried of being seen as selfish.

Selfish feels like such a dark, icky word to me. It’s not that selfishness doesn’t exist; it definitely does. But most of the time, a mom who spends most of her time in the care of others is the furthest thing from it. But due to cultural messaging, she doesn’t know the difference between true selfishness and honest self-care.

Instead of telling myself I’m selfish for taking care of myself, I remind myself that I can be willing to receive. In the past if a friend or family member offered to help, I would deflect. I remember a time when we were newly married and had a young child, I had mentioned to a friend how it had been so long since I had vacuumed my home. Instead of saying, “well, let me know if I can help with that,” she asked where the vacuum was, and she vacuumed my living room right then and there. Admittedly, it was a little uncomfortable for me (even though I was thankful for her help). Because I was not accustomed to receiving. When help was offered, I would think, “I should do everything myself. I don’t want to be a burden.” What I didn’t realize is that I wasn’t allowing others the opportunity to give, because I wasn’t willing to receive their gift. So not only was I making it harder for myself, I was also preventing them from having the blessing of serving me.

For the past few years, my husband’s work schedule has often allowed him the time to cook dinner for our family. In the past I felt a little bit uncomfortable when my husband would cook. I saw it as “my job” and that I should be the one doing it. But now, after a few conversations with him about it, I understand that it’s a gift he wishes to give to me and the rest of the family. Now I gratefully receive it. And in receiving, all are blessed with greater feelings of love for one other. It has created a more expanded and equal partnership for us.

Being intentional about the words you use can create more expansiveness in any relationship. I know it sounds simple, but it’s true. I know, because I’ve experienced it. I have seen the shifts in my own life toward more expansiveness just by changing the words I use. I would love to hear how this works for you.

With Love, Andelin

How to Cultivate a Weight Loss Mindset for Success

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Tobi Coughlin

The problem with diets is that they provide a solution to the wrong problem – they tell us what to eat.

Here’s the thing, even if there were a “perfect” way to eat to lose weight, it wouldn’t be effective if you didn’t follow the plan. The reason so many of us struggle with our weight is because it’s not always easy to make the choices we know are best.

I’m not saying that having a basic understanding about what to eat to lose weight has no value; it’s just that in working with hundreds of people over many years I’ve found that about 95% of the time knowing what to eat isn’t the real problem.

The actual obstacle is in bridging that gap from knowing what to do to actually doing it. . And, according to the latest in behavioral science, it’s our thinking that inspires action … and inaction. It’s mindset that really matters.

Let me illustrate.

If I told you I’d give you $1 million to lose weight, how would that impact you?

● Might you be more motivated to lose weight than before I made the offer?
● What about your belief in your ability…might you have more confidence in yourself that you could succeed ?Notice what changed. The goal is still to create weight loss. The only difference is in what you think about weight loss. And, that thinking is nothing but a shift in perspective.And this very same principle applies to other things we think about around weight loss.

● Do you think it’s hard?…You’ll most likely just find evidence for its difficulty, closed off from seeing anything to the contrary.
● Do you think it’s easy?…You’ll likely be more open to finding creative ways to make it feel easier.When I’m talking about mindset, it’s nothing more than those seemingly innocent sentences in our head. Yet the fact is those sentences are actually quite important in the way they inspire us to behave. They can help us move towards our goals; they can also be just the thing that gets in our way of success.

Two of the most common thoughts that get in the way of permanent weight loss are: “I need to make big changes” and a related one “I need to lose weight quickly”.

In fact, neither of those thoughts are useful. We’re actually more likely to give up when something feels hard – and the bigger the change, the more difficult it feels.

The flipside is also true. When you make small enough changes, they don’t feel particularly challenging – and the easier something feels, the more likely we are to repeat the behavior.

And, tiny changes built on top of each other, create big changes over time – making consistency ultimately the more important factor in permanent weight loss.

Ready to develop your Mindset for Weight Loss Success? Start by simply paying attention.

Pause and ask yourself what you’re thinking. (This might not come naturally at first. That’s OK, just keep practicing) Then ask yourself:

“Is this way of thinking contributing to or getting in the way of my goal?”

If you determine it’s not helpful, try finding other perspectives that still feel believable and are even a bit more motivating.

Stop looking for the “perfect” diet, and start looking for inspiring thoughts! Mindset matters most for weight loss success.

—————-

After years of yo-yo dieting, I’ve learned and adopted a way of thinking that’s allowed me to keep my weight off for almost two decades. I’m a Certified Life & Weight Loss Coach with over 14-years experience helping people manage their weight. I can help you too. Schedule a free session today!

https://www.bestlifecoachtobi.com/book-a-session

Tend To Your Happy

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Lisa Christy

Happiness is an inside job. I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before.

So then why do so many feel an outside circumstance, another person, or a world event can topple their Happy?

Do you believe Happy is so fragile and fleeting and can come and go in an instant? Or do you believe Happy just IS part of your being, your birthright, your god-given foundation and your work is to maintain and “water” your Happy? Tending to your Happy garden.

There are millions of different emotions we can feel at any given moment and we can also feel many emotions at the same time.

I tend to feel my emotions when they come up and then I tend to each one – to either work through it at my own pace (when I am feeling bad) or hold onto it and milk it (when I am feeling good).

But just like the sun is always shining, is always there, even if it is hidden by clouds, I believe Happy is always there at the core of our being and for me personally, it is my personal work to always keep the Happy uncovered and blooming. The bar is set.

I’ve hear so many people say at the end of every year, “I can’t wait for this year to be over!”, or “next year will be so much better!”.

You do realize you bring your same self from one moment of time to the next unless you choose to have a different perspective on the things you want to be better, right?

The world outside may change and yes, hopefully for the better always. But it is always YOUR choice regarding the perspective you choose for anything going on outside of you. Or inside of you.

If you can just allow yourself the gift of a shift, just a bit, to a lighter, more positive and brighter perspective on ANY subject, you will be tending to your Happy. Self-care at its finest!

There’s a lot from last year I could say I am not grateful for. BUT why would I do that to myself and focus on what I don’t prefer? Why would I feed that?

Do you know how focusing on what you don’t prefer and what makes you feel not good can age you, make you ill, make you choose foods that inflate or deplete you, make you angry, bring you pain, and generally make you not feel good about yourself?

Is that how you want to live your life? Focusing on and talking about what you don’t want?

Just try it – try just to focus on what you DO prefer, what DOES make you feel good. Just take a moment at a time. Try it. For 60 seconds. What AM I grateful for? What DOES make me feel good?

Tend to THAT Happy!!!! Watch your Happy garden grow and grow.

Choose that every day and see the Happy you actually can have. Witness it. Or if you cannot see it, then go and CREATE it.

What a loving gift to yourself and those around you!

As always in all ways, it is your individual choice on what you feed and tend to. My perspective is mine and it works for me. It works for my clients. It works for those in my inner circle. You get to choose your path. You get to choose your version of Happy.

Yes, indeed!!

I invite you to set up a FREE mini-session with me to talk more about your Happy, and your needs. Let’s chat!! Schedule Here!

Confirmation Bias And How It Hurts Our Relationships

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By Karen Edwards, CPQC

We’re all human, so we all deal with confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is a phrase devised by English psychologist Peter Wason. Ultimately, it is the tendency of our brain to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existingbeliefs. It’s a survival tendency of our brain to try to prepare us for possible dangers. If our brain believes that “dogs bite”, it will find every evidence of it. If a dog runs up to you on the street, your brain will make that mean it wants to bite you. If the dog licks you, your brain will see that as evidence that the dog is getting ready to bite you. So, of course, you are guarded and fearful and the dog feels the fearful energy and tries harder to seek affection, which continues to scare you. So, your reality is that “dogs bite”.

Confirmation bias is behind most of our limiting beliefs. Whatever we think will be our reality. Our brains make assumptions constantly in an effort to protect us. And those assumptions are naturally going to be negative because that is what our survival brain is there for, to find danger.

I like to think of my survival brain as my default mode. If I don’t choose what mode my brain is in, it will just default to survival and the negative.

How is this hurting our relationships?

First, I believe that one of the best ways of showing love in our relationships is to pay attention. To pay attention to the other person and really hear and see them. Confirmation bias can definitelyinhibit your ability to do that, especially if you have known that person for a long time. Your brain just makes assumptions and isn’t able to keep discovering new things about this person. But we are all changing and growing and there are always new things to discover in our relationships. One way that I’ve seen this in my life is with my son who struggles with ADHD and anxiety. At night, when I’m going to bed, he sometimes comes into my room and wants to talk to me. I have hearing loss, so I wear hearing aids and when I go to bed, I take them out and can’t hear well at all. He sometimes comes in and starts talking to me, I have to stop him, turn on my lamp, scramble, and knock things off my nightstand while I’m searching for my hearing aids. I finally locate them and put them in my ears. I ask him to repeat what he was saying. He says something like “next time you go to the store, will you buy stuff to make pumpkin muffins?” I feel irritated because I’m thinking it could have waited until tomorrow, so I naturally act irritated. He leaves feeling a little embarrassed. The next week he comes in again and we go through the same scenario, except this time my brain says “here he comes with something unimportant to say” so I’m irritated before he even speaks. My brain believes it will be unimportant and so no matter what he says to me, it will be unimportant. It’s significant to note that I really love my son, I worry and think about him all the time and try to come up with ways to connect and help him.

Do you see the problem?This is why I do what I do. Understanding and learning about my survival brain has helped me overcome its negative thought habits in my relationships. I am now able to be more mindful and take each experience with my son as it comes, without pre-judging it. I am able to pay attention and be fully present with him. Healthy relationships don’t just happen, we have to create them with our thoughts. We do not have to stay in default mode. We have access to other regions of our brains that have other tools besides survival…tools like empathy, patience, curiosity, innovation, and discernment.

We can learn tools that help us use our agency in how we think so we can create the lives and the relationships we want. We don’t always get to choose what thoughts come into our heads, but we can choose which ones we keep thinking. My mission as a life coach is to teach these mindful tools to my clients so that they can use their agency to choose what mode their brain is in, instead of living in default mode.

To learn more about working with Karen, please visit her PROFILE

Ripple Meditation: One simple practice to keep creativity flowing

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Shannon Borg, Art and Business Coach

As an artist and creativity coach, I think a lot about the creative process.

(Like, a LOT)

What is it, really?

How does it work?

How come it is so elusive?

Part of the problem is that every person has a different process. It can work SO many different ways. But there are ways to tap into your own process – to help understand it better and develop it more fully.

I’ve developed a simple “creative meditation” method that has really changed everything for me in regards to:

how I come up with new ideas
how I paint
how I create trainings for my artist clients,
and how I run my business.

I believe it can help you, too.

This process is for:

Artists
Writers
Makers
Thinkers
Entrepreneurs
Coaches
Healers
Creative Humans
Humans that want to be more creative

I’m sharing this process with you in a video (below) because I think it is so helpful to see the whole process unfold.

But before we dive into the Ripple Meditation technique, let’s break down the creative process a bit.

What is the Creative Process?

The Creative Process is defined in many ways, but I’ve found that this definition makes the most sense to me:

Solving problems through innovation.

It can look like the traditional 5-step process that designer Graham Wallas came up with waaay back in 1926 (of course, the so-called “creative process” has worked nonstop since the beginning of time. Even BEFORE time existed.)

Graham Wallas’ “Creative Process:

But sometimes, the creative process seems more like this:

Or this:

Just know that every human has their own way of allowing and cultivating creativity in their lives.

Everyone has their own path.

As I was starting to paint and create a business, I REALLY needed a little calm and focus in my life to help me manage:

Negative self-talk
Idea overwhelm
Impostor Syndrome

There is no magic pill for this – but I have done a lot of work around these ideas to help my clients – and myself.

This is how it worked for me.

Step One:

First, I started meditating – just to calm the fuck down.

I would just sit quietly for 10 minutes and breathe. Try to calm my mind.

Step Two:

Then, those meditation moments started revealing new ideas – at first I called it “Creative Meditation.” I would write ideas that came to me down in my journal as I sat and breathed, just trying to let my mind rest so new ideas could be heard.

Then, I found my mind was working on a creative solution.

I thought the ‘creative process’ just happened in the studio – but of course not! (duh.)

It is happening all the time, in our brains.

The Result

Next, this “creative meditation” practice morphed into a more intentional practice I call Ripple Meditation.

After my coach, Brooke Castillo, talked about the concept of the “Idea Baby,” I saw how my creative meditation practice was similar – and so instead of ONE idea, I started using TWO “thought pebbles.”

Here are a few examples of the results from a few of my Ripple Meditations (Thought Pebble #1 + Thought Pebble #2 = Creative “Idea Baby” that I then developed into a painting, teaching or process):

Light + Color = my Lunaria paintings

The 4 Seasons + Business = The 4 Hats of Artists in Business training

Artist’s Struggle + The Model = The Struggle Button training

Here are the basics:

Ripple Meditation:

Sit quietly for 10 – 20 minutes
Use soft music without words if that helps set the mood
Choose one idea, thought, or concept. Drop that “thought pebble” into the pond of your mind. Watch your mind work with that thought – let it “ripple out” where it will.
Jot ideas/thoughts down in your journal
Now, drop ANOTHER “thought pebble” into your mind’s pond – and watch to see where the ripples overlap and create “Interference.” The “interference” is where the new “idea baby” is born!
Take notes, draw, look things up, go down rabbit holes, or free write as you go. ALL that is allowed!
With your new insights and ideas, go create something new!

I hope this process was productive for you. If you’d like to watch the whole Ripple Meditation Training, you can find it here:

Where do you get your ideas?: One simple process to keep creativity flowing)

Or, here’s the link: https://www.shannonborg.com/get-ripple-meditation

If you are curious about how creativity coaching can help you and your business, sign up for a free consultation, and we can chat about your creative process, your business, and how you can create the results you want.

Thank you!

Shannon Borg

Art & Business Coach

www.shannonborg.com

hello@shannonborg.com

Follow me on Instagram: @shannonborg

How is self-care transformative?

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: April Yee

We’ve likely all heard about “self-love” and “loving yourself.” These concepts may seem good to do and have, but they may also seem lofty and hard to attain.

How do we love ourselves and have self-love? Where do we start, especially when we’ve been our harshest critics or engage in self-loathing thinking and behaviors?

Some ways that we hear about self-care are to get a massage, to get a pedicure or manicure, to treat ourselves to a new outfit or electronic device, or to enjoy a frothy, sweet drink. These are definitely a few ways to show care for ourselves, but at a somewhat superficial level.

When we do things that bring us joy, that is part of self-care.

I want to offer that self-care also looks like this:

Drinking enough water to stay hydrated and alert
Speaking to yourself with kindness instead of punishing yourself
Eating nutritious food to fuel your body
Going to the bathroom when you need to go
Sleeping enough to allow your body to rest and repair
Moving your body enough
Committing to the things you want to do for yourself
Thinking generous thoughts about yourself instead of critical thoughts
Connecting with yourself and your body – listening to what you need
Creating a supportive relationship with yourself
Maintaining healthy boundaries with yourself and others

We can build our self-care muscles by practicing daily. Just like any other muscle we want to build, it takes time, effort, and commitment along with the desire to do so. We get to create our own journey to self-love and I believe these are some of the practices that carry us along the way.

When we realize how powerful it is to keep a commitment to ourselves, we start to build trust with ourselves and learn that we can have our own back, no matter what. This is how self-care can be transformative.

Our longest relationship we’ll have is the relationship we have with ourselves. What would our lives be like if that relationship is supportive, loving, kind, reliable, and trusting?

“When you’re at peace with yourself and love yourself, it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive.”

― Wayne Dyer

Your turn: What self-care practices are you open to committing to today? What would you do differently when you trust yourself to do the things you want to do for yourself? How would your life be different when you love yourself no matter what?

Uplift Your Mood With These 6 Gratitude-Building Strategies

Uncategorized / By Heather Rackham

By: Angela Vale

Most of us are constantly under pressure and on the go with our fast-paced lifestyles. It’s only natural for us to occasionally feel worn out or even a bit down from time to time.

The good news is that something as simple as refocusing your attention from your challenges to acknowledging the things that you are grateful for in your life can instantly boost your mood.

Studies show that practicing gratitude on a regular basis can raise your mood and also boost your self-esteem, will power, long term health, and even your level of success in life!

Beat the blues with these practices to help you develop your sense of gratitude:

1. Keep a list of the things you’re grateful for. The next time that you feel angry, frustrated, or a bit depressed, make a list and literally count your blessings. Making a list helps you to stop obsessing over the current situation.

· Don’t stop at just one list. Consider keeping a journal to record the things and events in your life for which you are grateful. Over time, you create a tangible record of all of the positive aspects of your life.

2. Start the day on a positive note. Set the tone and focus for the rest of your day by taking a few moments each morning to review the positive things in your life.

· Self-questions can be a great way to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Good questions to ask include: “What’s something good that is happening right now,” “What opportunities await me today,” or “Whose love am I grateful for?”

3. Be alert to the goodness all around you. It’s hard to have a positive attitude if you focus on only the negative things happening around you. Make a point to consciously seek the good in everything, especially in small, simple things such as a child’s innocent laughter or the beauty found in nature.

4. Perform random acts of kindness. You can increase your own gratitude by being someone else’s reason for thankfulness. Practice random acts of kindness by unexpectedly helping others.

· What may seem like a small act to you can be a very large act of generosity to someone who is in need. Look for opportunities each day to help someone else. The other person will be thankful for your generosity and you’ll be grateful for the boost in your self-esteem and mood.

5. A picture is worth a thousand words. Why not document the things that you’re grateful for by recording them with a photo? You can even spread the good thoughts around by sharing your gratitude pictures on your social media accounts.

6. Save notes of gratitude, instead of loose change, in a jar. Too busy to make gratitude lists or keep a gratitude journal? Try writing short notes about gratitude to yourself and keeping them in a jar!

· Whenever you need an encouraging word, remove one of the notes and read it to instantly perk up your mood!

· As the end of the year draws to a close, look back over your gratitude notes to be reminded of all of the good things that happened to you throughout the year.

There are difficult times in everyone’s life, but practicing gratitude on a regular basis gives you the power and inspiration to remain positive as you overcome challenges.

Want to know more about my Gratitude Practice? Book a free session with me!

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Heather Rackham

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Ripple Meditation: One simple practice to keep creativity flowing

As an artist and creativity coach, I think a lot about the creative process.

This process is for:

But before we dive into the Ripple Meditation technique, let’s break down the creative process a bit.

What is the Creative Process?

Solving problems through innovation.

Just know that every human has their own way of allowing and cultivating creativity in their lives.

Everyone has their own path.

I hope this process was productive for you. If you’d like to watch the whole Ripple Meditation Training, you can find it here:

Where do you get your ideas?: One simple process to keep creativity flowing)

Or, here’s the link: https://www.shannonborg.com/get-ripple-meditation

If you are curious about how creativity coaching can help you and your business, sign up for a free consultation, and we can chat about your creative process, your business, and how you can create the results you want.

How is self-care transformative?

Uplift Your Mood With These 6 Gratitude-Building Strategies

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